hai..here i want share something with you'll

Communication rules
 Listen - Listen - Listen! Many people think that communicating is mostly about telling other people about you. They talk and talk about themselves. Being in love with their own voice, they don't notice that they may come across as a self-obsessed person. What they totally overlook is that the most important part in communicating is listening. Listening is not just waiting for your turn to speak. By listen actively you show the other person you care. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person. It is one of the most healing and soothing experiences you can provide.

Don't treat an assumption as a fact! People often have an idea about what they think is going on for the other person and don't think for a moment to check their assumption out. For example "He doesn't ring, that means he doesn't love me. If he would love me, he would know how important it is for me that he rings". Well, sometimes somebody not ringing just means they didn't ring. You have to check it out with the other person. Don't act upon the story you have made up in your head. We usually call that a 'Fairy Tale'.

 Be clear when you ask for something. George Bernhard Shaw said "The problem with communication is that people believe it has already happened". Indeed, a person may say "I need much more support from you" and thinks they have been perfectly clear about their request. Yet support could mean a million things to a million people. It's great to communicate a need (i.e. support, connection, peace, warmth, space).For the other person to know how you would like to be supported for example, you will have to request a specific action "could you go with me to the dentist?" Remember, the other person is not a mind-reader.

 Making "I-statements!" You've heard it all! Making "I-statements" is the bread-and-butter of communication skills. Yet it is astounding how many people don't follow that rule. When they share their experiences they rather use the non-committal 'you' and thereby communicate their experience from a once-removed position. Making "I-statements" is far more intimate and both you and the person you communicate with will be more connected to what you chose to share. Making "I-statements" is far more difficult than people normally think. Consider the following statement: "You can't get by on the benefit" and then try on for size "I can't get by on the benefit". A very, very different kettle of fish.

 Learn about yourself! When we communicate with another person we can not be influenced by our personal experiences. If you want to relate to the person that is standing in front of you, you need to know which of your feelings and perceptions belong to that person and to the here and now, and which of them belongs to people and experiences from your past. If you struggle more often with communication issues, it might be a good idea to see a counselor or psychotherapist to help you to understand the link between your current reactions and your past experiences.